Ornithopters

Ornithopters: If You Don't Understand It, You're Stupid.



Well, well, well. Isn't this a strange one? This flash was made in near complete darkness, so either wacking up the gamma or straining your eyes and leaning closer to the screen might be necessary. I'd apologise but then I remember it's 'art' which means it's cool that you can't see it. Again, my frustration with Newgrounds manifested itself into a flash. For those accustomed to Newgrounds, the vast majority of the users on it can be classified into three broad categories.

Fucktards
Asstards
Shitheads

Anyway, frustrated at the complete fuckheadery which was allowed to persist on NG I decided that an injection of culture was required to stop these people from sucking all their lives. After someone noted in a review of 'Tech Support' that Hal 9000 was actually from Tron I felt that I should tackle this great task of educating the asstards. I felt a subtle way of doing this without alerting them of my intent to reform them was to carve one of my flashes from a block of pure, unrefined culture. If I could package this BBC-4-documentary-in-a-flash as something the NG-whores would swallow then I might be able to make the world a better place. So I decided to make one of NG's famous arty, profound and decidedly ridiculous thought-provoking flashes. The result is a whirlwind tour through Chopin, Ornithopters and Dante's Inferno. If you GET every reference in this flash then you deserve a medal. Beware, over the course of this flash I cranked the bullshit factor way above normal levels, observe caution whilst viewing this flash or you might find yourself lamenting the decline of the post-modern movement whilst commenting on the art movement in 1940s San Francisco. Don't say I didn't warn you.

A few days on from submitting this flash to Newgrounds and it STILL has a 'decent' rating, that is a score above 3. That means more people liked the flash than not. Considering this flash is at best meaningless bullshit it also stands as a testament to the idiocy of Newgrounds users. I mean I realised that I needed to draw the thing to a close in the final scene so easy peasy I throw in a bit of Dante and voila, one emo-flash complete! Seriously though, between the 'this suks' and 'you suk' reviews I could swear some of those people actually thought I was being serious on the whole thing. Well, if they enjoy the flash, great, I guess. Next flash project? How about Mario versus Megaman to the tune of the Final Fantasy 7 boss music? That would be original, funny and also really super-fucking-lame cool. It's probably becoming pretty clear now that I'm not really a fan of Newgrounds, however I'm still testing my theory that the benefit of loads of people watching my flashes and hopefully visiting this site is worth the immense frustration caused as a result of the reviews, users and general asstard culture present on Newgrounds. Well, it might be paying off, I guess I'll find out when .tk's stats page starts working again.

Still not sure what to think of the flash? Well here are some of the GREAT reviews to the flash on Newgrounds!

"it was boring a really pointless" 3/10 - Scuzum

"That was awesome!" 10/10 - justAbrickINtheWALL

"it needed the following: a pre-loader" 4/10 - KWAS71KCK

"it was pretty abstract." 7/10 - Steve-N

"What the hell sense does that make???" 5/10 - iloveviagra

Man, I love those guys. You can always depend on them for well-written and seplt reviews which are not only insigtful and thought-provoking, but also highly detailed and informative.