»5th January 2011

Something Out Of Nothing

So I can't meet a self-imposed deadline. This was originally going to be the second half of the Supply update where I talked in a lazy State of the Union address format. I couldn't really pass this off as part of that update, two weeks after writing the rest of the update, so I made it a separate update. Is this getting familiar yet? I need to use 'so' less.

Things That Have Been Fucking Me Insane

The Minecraft Ending

Seriously guys, what the fuck was that. First, you think it wise to put an 'end boss' into an otherwise completely free-form, sandbox game. Next, you make the end level a one-texture mess that looks like some retarded sponge. Finally, you make the end boss a dragon which can supposedly one-hit you. I say supposedly since when I joined JK in tag-teaming the end boss, it didn't do any damage to us at all and was apparently bugged completely broken. And what reward for spending twenty minutes firing arrows at a harmless dragon?

It didn't seem right to put any more effort into that picture than went into the MC ending.

A seven-minute 'metaphysical', ''philosophical'', '''''''epilogue''''''', written by some sci-fi writer in the form of a seven-minute scrolling text. What. The. Fuck.

Watching this travesty unfold over Skype, 'Is this a joke?' 'What the fucccckk?' 'What the fack did I do wrang?' 'Arrrrrrhhhh!!!' 'Seriously, is this a joke?' 'Well it's certainly a big 'fuck you' from Notch.' 'FUUUUUCCCCCKKKK.'

I honestly can't tell what the point of it was. I mean we were so bored of the game by that point and since all that remained between us and 'the end' was hours of grinding. I can't imagine what it would be like if you had to deal with that shit after getting there legitimately, or if the dragon wasn't actually broke and put up a fight. I wish I was making this shit up.

This crap goes on for about seven minutes. Seriously.

Things That Haven't Been Fucking Me Insane

The Troll Hunter

To say this was a horror film, which I'm usually lukewarm to, this was brilliant. I say 'horror' but really there was quite a lot of action in it, Wikipedia unhelpfully calls it a 'dark fantasy'. It's basically a mock-documentary like the Blair Witch Project (which I haven't seen) which could very easily have been very tiresome (Cloverfield, I'm looking at you.) However, there's some pretty decent acting and special effects in it but the best thing about it was the incredibly dry sense of humour present in the eponymous troll hunter himself. The second half of the time allows the bone dry wit to really come to the fore, especially the scene where the student team filming the troll hunter hire a new camerawoman who never gets an answer to 'well what happened to the last one?'

Starcraft 2

I've been playing it quite a bit. There's a rather annoying tendency in the game that panders towards the pro gamers by adding the occasional needless layer of 'micro', and the online match-making system is very far from perfect (though a vast improvement over any prior.) Still, it's about the most solid, and well-made game I've played in ages. Blizzard are very, very good at what they do.

Albums

Mastodon - The Hunter. Mastodon have clearly listened to my criticism of their previous albums. They've finally started putting the best riff in a song into the chorus instead of some throwaway instrumental noodling section. This album is the 'poppiest' thing they've done so far. That's 'poppy' in the sense that the songs aren't weighted down by concept album pretension ('too artsy, too intellectual'), and there are finally a prevalence of brilliant riffs and choruses given centre stage. Basically, they're just better songs. Brann Dailor is a brilliant drummer, especially live, and he finally gets his own song to sing on this album (previously, it's been the odd verse here and there, like Phil Collins in Gabriel-era Genesis). The comparison to Genesis really is a viable one to make, and if Brann decides he's going to take over the reigns of the band and take them down a more 'poppy' route, I'd be all too happy. 'Black Tongue', 'Curl of the Burl' and 'Creature Lives' are my personal favourites. The former two were performed to a bewildered and deafened audience on Later... With Jolls Holland to utmost hilarity whilst the later is a genre-breaking, early-Collins-era-Genesis fanfare with Brann Dailor's lead vocals. Brilliant!

Megadeth - Thirteen. Dave Ellefson is back on bass duties and is seemingly the only person capable of telling Dave Mustaine to 'Fucking cool it with the super-dense solo sections, already!' You can tell that 'deth have been on the Big Four Tour for a bit too long because this is a very nostalgic record. It's very Countdown To Destruction-like. That's not necessarily a bad thing since it means that actual songs are back instead of Endgame-era riff-dumps. The nostalgia is further increased by the presence of supposedly 'complete' versions of songs that were demo'd during the Countdown era and have already appeared on the deluxe editions of those albums. Seriously, what has been really added to 'Millenium of the Blind' over the demo? I do like this album, it's another 'step in the right direction'. Still, the world (well, maybe just myself) waits for a true follow-up to Rust In Peace.

Skeletonwitch - Forever Abomination. I'm sounding like a broken record now, but Skeletonwitch have brought the ruckus again with this new album. Better songwriting, yet more lean and ripped riffs. Yes, please.

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo Soundtrack. Sorry but I'm a NIN whore. The acronym is cumbersome (TGWTDTWSHTHSFBT) but this is a definite improvement over The Social Network soundtrack which I found just a bit too synthy and dancey. Three hours is probably a bit too long, but this is some bleak stuff. I've heard comparisons with personal favourite the Quake Soundtrack but that ship has sailed and this is nowhere near as industrial as that. Still, it's very good, and certainly closer to the NIN sound I want. Plus, it's book-ended by brilliant covers. Immigrant Song could have easily been a total disaster, Karen O on vocals totally works. The new How To Destroy Angels (HTDAHTHDA) song is a Bryan Ferry cover, 'Is Your Love Strong Enough?' ('Errrr, what?') It was originally on the Legend soundtrack (which I fucking owned years before Drag Tatt came out! Score hardcore points for me!) It's great, I love HAHDTHAHDA.

Ring my bell.

Chrysta Bell 'This Train' and David Lynch 'Crazy Clown Time'. I've grouped these two together because they might as well be a double release. Chrysta Bell is the smoking hot new muse of David Lynch. She specialises in sultry, sleazy, sexy, haunting (yeah, that doesn't start with s) songs that sound like the David Lynch songs from the Mullholland Drive sountrack. 'Real Love' is my favourite. David Lynch's 'solo'? album, 'Crazy Clown Time' isn't quite as consistent as Chrysta Bell's. The first track, 'Pinky's Dream' is a sleaze-rock (new genre?) banger with guest vocals by........ Karen O! Yeah, if you want a good guest vocalist to make your song win, get Karen. The better songs on the rest of the album follow this filth-blues (I'm going to stop now) formula formula. However, a few of the songs are all dancey and loaded with vocoder vocals. These are not good. Don't let them spoil the good songs on this album though.

I'm going to put this stuff into the Big Music Roundup as well. It ought to be there in the first place, but I know none of you actually read it.

Extar, over, out.

Do you like Phil Collins? I've been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn't understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Duke where Phil Collins' presence became more apparent. I think Invisible Touch was the group's undisputed masterpiece. It's an epic meditation on intangibility. At the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of the preceding three albums. Christy, take off your robe. Listen to the brilliant ensemble playing of Banks, Collins and Rutherford. You can practically hear every nuance of every instrument. Sabrina, remove your dress. In terms of lyrical craftsmanship, the sheer songwriting, this album hits a new peak of professionalism. Sabrina, why don't you, uh, dance a little. Take the lyrics to Land of Confusion. In this song, Phil Collins addresses the problems of abusive political authority. In Too Deep is the most moving pop song of the 1980s, about monogamy and commitment. The song is extremely uplifting. Their lyrics are as positive and affirmative as anything I've heard in rock. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. Phil Collins' solo career seems to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying, in a narrower way. Especially songs like In the Air Tonight and Against All Odds. Sabrina, don't just stare at it, eat it. But I also think Phil Collins works best within the confines of the group, than as a solo artist, and I stress the word artist. This is Sussudio, a great, great song, a personal favorite.