»24th August 2006
Rent Me: Again
Yesterday saw me return once more to Leeds to try and get hold of the keys to my new flat. I was told last week by a girl who apparently goes by the name of Chantelle, that I would be recieving a call at about 10am telling me it would be okay for me to come in and pick up the keys to the new yale lock which they had ordered. Removing an old, non-working lock and replacing it with a new ordinary lock within a week was of course far more than Rent Me could possibly handle.
It was midday and I thought I should ring Rent Me and see what the status of my keys was since they hadn't rung me. I managed to get hold of Chantelle again and I was told by her that the guy with the keys has just come into the office and that he was sorting out our keys now. Chantelle then told me that she'd ring me back in an hour once they'd sorted out the new keys just to confirm that my key was ready and that I could come in to pick it up.
I spent a long time on the phone, steadily getting more annoyed.
An hour and a half passed and I thought I should perhaps ring Chantelle back and see what was going on. Chantelle, picked up the phone and put me through to this guy apparently called Mike. I say 'apparently' because none of the employees at Rent Me ever tell you their names directly, you only ever find out off their colleagues, which makes reporting who fucked you around the last time difficult.
I had to again explain my situation to Mike, that we had Uniqeys (the little key-card thing, the company who makes them primarily aim the locks at hotels and hospitality) that worked, but that the batteries on our lock must have run low and that we couldn't actually get into our flat. Mike, with a genuine concern asked me "where have you been living for the past two months?". Well Mike, let's think of some possibilities here. First off I haven't been living in my flat which I have paid three months rent for in advance because you people at Rent Me haven't bothered to actually change the locks over yet.
This however was not the time to lecture Mike on his companies ineptitude, I wanted my key. I told Mike which was my flat and he said he'd ring me back in fifteen minutes once he'd sorted out found my keys. Five minutes passed and Mike rung me back saying I could come in and pick up the keys for Flat Four 67 Clarendon Court. I then told Mike that I actually wanted the keys for MY flat, which was Flat Four *69* Clarendon Court, like I'd told him five minutes ago. Mike then said he'd ring me straight back once he'd got those keys.
Mike made himself scarce when he realised what a fuck up the situation with my flat was.
Twenty minutes passed and I rung back Rent Me and was told by this new girl called Ashleigh (she was the only one brave enough to tell my her name without me asking, and I also found out off Ashleigh Mike's name) that Mike had just left the office. I was starting to get very annoyed, either the keys to our flat were for some reason held off-site, or Mike had just pissed off in the middle of sorting me out. Anyway, Ashleigh did her best to reassure me that she was now on the case and that I'd be able to get in my flat tonight today. I was also told by Ashleigh that Rent Me hadn't actually managed to put a new lock on my door yet. At this point I reached the point of being fucked insane--I was very annoyed indeed--because when I called last week, Chantelle had assured me that she had told the workmen to fix me up with a new lock and that I'd be able to pick up the key today, this was a lie.
Ashleigh said she'd sort out with Mike what was going on and get something done. I told her that I needed to get into my flat today and wanted to know when the lock would be fixed. Ashleigh told me that I would definitely be able to get into my flat today. She said she'd get Mike to ring me back in half an hour.
Forty minutes passed and again I had to ring Rent Me back myself, Mike was back from his short absence and I was pissed off. I started explaining to Mike how I had been told that my lock would be ready today, Mike started getting defensive and telling me that he was doing everything he could and that he'd send someone down to my flat now to sort things out. I asked Mike if he knew why six weeks had passed since the start of my contract and why I still couldn't get into my flat and why Rent Me hadn't upgraded the locks like they said they were going to two weeks ago when I was last in the office with Stewart and his sister. Mike started telling me that there was nothing he could do until the keys had arrived. I told Mike that they hadn't actually put a new lock on my flat door yet and that I was annoyed that there were no new keys for me to pick up. Mike wanted me off the phone pronto, he gave me the number of whoever they had sent to my flat to sort things out.
I was pissed off when Mike wasn't being very helpful.
I rung this mobile number and was put on the line with Usman who told me that he was 'literally at my flat now and that he had literally just got to the door'. I asked Usman whether I should bother literally coming over to Leeds to get into my flat and if they could just fix the existing lock for me in the meantime before they literally put the new lock on. Usman again told me that he was 'literally at my flat now and that he had literally just got to the door'.
I asked him why my lock hadn't already been fixed and he told me that because the door on our flat isn't like the others, it opened outwards instead of inwards, that they hadn't been able to put a new lock on yet. (What?) I told Usman that I had rung them up over a week ago and asked why they hadn't managed to fix a lock on one of their own flat doors in a week. Usman told me that 'the parts must still be on order or someting'. Usman then said that he'd get ring me back in a few minutes once he'd had a look at our mysterious door.
Usman probably wasn't anywhere near my flat and the workmen didn't mention that he had been around.
Usman actually had the presence of mind to ring me back. Confusingly, Usman kept calling me Craig and seemed to think I was in the Rent Me office. I didn't make any progress when I told him I wasn't Craig and that I was not in the office in Leeds. Anyway, I asked him what was being done about my lock and he told me that he had got some workmen to come over and asked me when I could get over to Leeds. I told him 3:30 at the very earliest. I heard Usman negotiating with the workmen and overheard one workman saying he could wait around until 3:20. Usman then told me that if I got to the flat at 3:30 the workmen would be ready to let me into my flat. It was quarter to three already and I realised that the next bus to Leeds was at 3:09 I realised that I would be nowhere near Leeds by 3:30.
I made my way through Leeds with my bag of goodies... and my M16.
I caught the 219 into Leeds and was at the flat at 4:00 with my bag of assorted kitchen things which I could pass off as the stuff I was moving in with. I went up to the flat door and noticed that they had managed to fix the stairwell light outside the door, so Chantelle hadn't completely ignored what I said needed doing in my first conversation with her last week. No workmen were in sight and my flat door was still resolutely shut with a still non-working Uniqey lock. I had a look in the flat carpark and found a Rent Me maintennance van, with two workmen leaning against it idly.
I explained my plight to the workmen who had similar tales of Rent Me fuckings.
The workmen were indeed waiting there to fix the lock on my flat door, however they had been waiting there for five hours for a lock-smith to arrive and that they hadn't been able to open the door yet. These workmen seemed okay, after explaining my situation to them I found out that they too had been fucked around by Rent Me and that RENNOVATION WORK was supposed to have been done five weeks ago. I asked them if the delay in getting the lock fixed was because the door on our flat was different because it opened outwards instead of inwards (like virtually every other interior door in existence). The workmen looked at me incredulously and said it was nothing to do with that at all. So good old Usman had fabricated his little explanation about why our door hadn't been fixed it seems. The workman said that he was waiting for some key which the locksmith had which he would be able to open my door with.
About twenty minutes past and the workman came up to my flat door with the magic wand. He removed the handle and front panel off the door lock so he could use the magic wand. He told me that he had been after this key for about a week and that he wasn't able to do anything because for some reason the locksmith hadn't been sent already.
The workman had a pretty hard time getting into our flat, it's THAT secure.
After some fiddling we finally got into the flat and I had another look round. The workman started testing lights and explained what he was going to rennovate. In the kitchen I found a small folder which had various forms in related to the flat, such as gas meter readings. Amongst these papers I found two correspondances from the landlords of the house. One dated around January this year with the letter head of 'Topspace Properties' informing the tennants that their flat had being bought by Rent Me who operate under the trade name 'Morris Properties' (the third alias which I know Rent Me to have now). The letter was sent by 'The Management' and signed 'M', presumably for Management or something. The second letter, this time from Rent Me, was dated March 18th 2006 and was informing the occupants that they would be recieving new Uniqeys and that they would be posting the new keys in the letter boxes for each flat. The letter was again from 'The Management', further demonstrating Rent Me's desire for it's employees to remain anonymous when they fuck up.
I checked the flat and didn't find the microwave I think we were supposed to have.
After this amusing light reading I asked the workman what he would be doing to the flat. He told me that he would be tidying up some of the plastering and the paint where necessary, that there would be new beds and new sofa and chairs in the kitchen. At this point my mind wandered back to when we were shown round the show flat by Rent Me and told that the flats were being refurbished and that by the time the contracts started we'd have new beds, sofas and chairs and kitchen appliances. So, that's Rent Me lying to me again. It's at this point when I bet you're wondering what all those bits of underlined text are, well I'll tell you. The underlined text represents instances during my ordeal when Rent Me lied to me, misrepresented information or shown a general lack of interest in differentiating between what has happened and what Rent Me said would happen.
I had a look at the rooms in the flat to see what things the workmen might need to do.
I now decided it was time to leave my new abode having left the two bags of stuff I had brought to the flat--just to serve as a placemarker incase Rent Me decided to do something incredibly stupid anything to either me, my flat or the flat door. The workman told me that the new lock would be fitted today (something I am inclined not to believe after Rent Me's track record of deception and lying and the incredibly slow rate at which this guy worked) and that he would leave the new keys and if need be the magic wand in the Rent Me office should I need to get into my own flat again. The workman shown me how to jimmy the lock for my own flat door open using the magic wand and said that he had replaced the battery in the existing lock and that a new one will soon be fitted.
I don't for one second believe that a) those workmen would relenquish control of such a sought after artifact as the magic wand, something which they seemingly depend on to be able to access any of the flats; b) that Rent Me would actually give me this magic wand knowing that it would let me into either my flat or anyone else's flat for that matter; or that c) the workmen would leave the handle and front panel off my door lock so I'd actually be able to use the wand. Anyway, confident that I was slightly more likely to get keys in the near future (the same feeling I had last week) and having actually applied some pressure on Rent Me and their workmen to actually get my flat into the condition it should have been in on July 1st, I decided to depart from my flat and make my way back to Heckmondwike.
On the walk down into Leeds, a few things had become apparent to me:
I called into Borders to pick up some books.
On my way through Leeds city centre to the bus station I called in at Borders to buy some books and MusicZone as I was on the look for a CD to counter the day of headfucking. Again, I was disappointed by their poor selection of heavy metal albums. Losing hope that I wouldn't be able to get a cheap, cool CD today I thought I'd check the Slayer section to see if they still had the same three albums which they always have. What ho! What is this I see before me, shining like a precious stone in my hands? Is this... is this the new Slayer album?
Well it was, and it single-handedly turned the trip into Leeds from a cataclysmic disaster into a magnificent victory. I listened to the new album, Christ Illusion, whilst writing this update, and it rocks, in a Seasons in the Abyss way. On a final note (Eb), I think I'll end this in true archetypal Slayer-fan style. Fuck Rent Me! Fuck The System! FUUCCCK YOOOOUUUU!!!!
Extar, over, out.
TCP/IP, it's fucking me off. Other protocols doing little more. Definitely got worse. Now making me curse. Removing IPX. Will it ever work? Never!