»15th July 2006

Id Binge

It's a well known fact that I'm an idle, work-shy layabout bastard. With this in mind it will surely come as no surprise to you that as I've literally had nothing better to do with my time I decided to embark upon a journey through the ages of Id games. Yep, Doom and Quake games have been sucking up an unhealthy portion of my life these past couple of days. What have I learnt from all these wasted hours? That Doom and Quake are really awesome games. Have I improved myself? Yes, if you consider mastery of the rocket launcher and the ability to rail people at the other end of the map WITH lag important life skills. Have I really improved myself? No, I've just pissed away another two days.

The Id binge has obviously had serious effects on my general well being. For instance, I've been holed up in this little room where the computers are virtually all day for two days - this is generally accepted as being a 'bad thing'. Secondly, the fact that Id games simply REQUIRE you to have the volume set at 'ear shattering' I've being doing a good job of pissing my parents and probably everyone in a half mile radius off with my late night deathmatch antics. Thirdly, and perhaps most seriously, I have started to approach every day problems and tasks in the same way that the Doom Guy approaches problems, i.e. with heavy ordinance.
Desperately seeking hidden health packs when I get hungry, blaming 'lag' and 'my fucking mouse' when I got bits of my chinese takeaway all over the kitchen table yesterday and waking up in the morning afternoon and uttering the words "jc, where's the fing rl?". Yep, people have started to keep their distance from me, whilst I have started maintaining a safe perimeter and taking evasive manoevres. I don't walk as such anymore, I bh (bunny hop), rj (rocket jump) and cs (circle strafe). After every small victory, be it opening gauntleting ("Humiliation!!!") a packet of crisps, swatting railing ("Impressive!!!") a fly, brushing strafing my teeth ("Excellent!!!") I have started mumbling 'pwned'. Yep, by all accounts, things are falling apart.
After the initial idea has run its course, in this case my Id binge, these blog entries usually dry up. I do have a few things I could possibly mention, such as my theory the proven fact that there isn't a single bad Arnie film. I suppose I could mention that I've started working very slowly on Robust Dog 3. It'll probably be completed and it's likely to be better than the first two.

Ah! News! I just got a weird fucking message on my answering machine. Seeing as I don't have anything better to talk about I might as well get it up here and make some commentary on it. Oh, it turns out I have TWO weird messages. Double the fun I guess.

I'm not sticking a preloader on that so you might have to wait for it to load (481kb). The first message, that's the red phone for all the really stupid people, sounds like an accidental call from my dad which happens from time to time when he has his phone on in his pocket. Despite it sounding suspiciously like a distorted voice, reversing it didn't produce any subliminal messages so I guess it must just be the sound of my dad's jacket pocket.
The second one is far weirder. It sounds like some old guy with a child in the background. What is strange is that the number turns out to be an 0161 area code, which I think is manchester. I do have some family relations in Manchester, however I can't think of any old family members who sound like that, OR who have my mobile number. Very strange. Can't quite make out what the child is saying, sounds like 'Dad, get the money out of the drawer' or something.
On a sidenote, we just had a rather impressive firework display in Heckmondwike and I have no idea why.
Anyway, I'm sure you found that highly amusing, I know I did. But now I must go, for I have something... erm... well I think I should just go, okay?

Extar, over, out.

Radiant is hard.