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»31st May 2006

Hardcore Fucking

Now that exams are over, Extar is free of the evil history department for a few months, well, until they fuck up something to do my modules next year or I have to resit something or whatever. It doesn't feel like exams, or year two for the matter, have finished yet, Extar doesn't feel like he has worked hard enough or been subjected to enough administrative tribulations for it all to be over. Whilst this state of limbo continues Extar thought it would be timely to make another blog update.

And I've had enough of writing in the third person, time to discuss various things that might make amusing light reading. I was going to do one of those 'things that have been fucking me insane' lists, but then I thought that not that many things have really been fucking me that insane, I mean mildly annoying stuff just doesn't cut it, it'd have to be real vein popping annoying for it to make the list.

Newgrounds

This isn't the first time and it certainly won't be the las

Fuck that, Newgrounds HAS been fucking me insane today

Things that have been fucking me insane.

Newgrounds

Yet again, one of my creations, in this case 'Dark Future', has recieved condemnation from the international community and has prompted the US to impose yet more economic sanctions against me. That translates to my anger that my new song got raped on the Newgrounds audio section. 1.5/5 is pretty shit, it's the lowest score I've yet managed to attain on Newgrounds, and I'm at a loss as to what was so ear-meltingly horrible for so many people to give a zero to. It seems unlikely that all the voters were asshole zero voters, there must have been at least one or two level headed voters in there. Oh and I've got a good idea how many people we're talking about here, I gave the song a four, the second voter gave it a zero and then, presuming only three people voted on it, someone else gave it a two. They then give me a further teeth kicking by not bothering to review the song. It's clearly not one of the stupid audios of someone screaming and squeeling then laughing with their retarded friends or someone playing a bad version of the opening riff to Smells Like Teen Spirit that sounds like the microphone was in an aluminium garage full of pillows. No, it actually sounds like some recognisable attempt at music, would it be too much to ask for someone to tell me what was so fucking terrible about this song? Does it only work on my PC, did I inadvertently upload four minutes of static? Both of those seem unlikely but there must have been something pretty horrible about it. Yeah, the vocals weren't great, but they never are. The second lowest scoring song of mine is 'Something To Do Quietly', which suggests I'm getting worse at making music. 'Something To Do Quietly' can be explained by the fact I uploaded it into the 'general rock' section of NG, which previously has destroyed my songs thanks to the fact they aren't really 'general rock' and that that particular section is as radio friendly and horrible as the title suggests. One of the people high up on the general rock list who also scores highly in the heavy metal section is Bad Man Incorporated. He's not a fucktard because he liked my version of 'Paranoid', one of the reviews for his songs sheds some light on the idiocy of the rating system on NG.
"i normally don't really enjoy hearin' this type of material but this was pretty damn good"

So let's analyse that one, the memorably titled 'mhb' doesn't actually like the heavy metal ballad thing that Bad Man had came up with, but he thought it was 'pretty damn good'. This highlights the ambiguity of how you're supposed to rate the music on NG. Do you vote based on your own biased, ignorant, downright retarded opinions, or do you try and be impartial and weigh up the pros and cons to a song that you wouldn't usually even touch? I think this needs clarifying because the NG audio section is horribly flawed, were it a dog you'd take it out back and shoot it, but you'd fuck that up because you wouldn't know where it's damn head would be. When I review audio, I try and give it a score based on how well it was made and secondly whether I actually like it. The audio section is supposed to be for flashes, which hardly any ever get used, but that's the idea. So I try to give a song a rating based on how good or shit it'd sound in one of my flashes. If it's approaching studio quality then it scores highly. If I like it, it scores higher. I often trawl through the lower sections of the lists where low scoring songs end up. 75% of those songs aren't the retarded piles of shit abuses of the system, some of them are pretty good. But I'm the only one trying to recorrect the ballance as far as I know.

These problems about there being no clarity on how you should vote are of course dealt with if people review, which the majority of people don't bother, it's a pain in the ass. They should make reviews compulsory to destroy the asshole contingent in my opinion, but NG is a fucked up hell hole so that's never going to happen.

'Dark Future' probably isn't any worse than any of the other stuff I've submitted, it's certainly better than my first attempt at 'Kill The King' which is showing it's age, it was probably the victim of a series of asshole zero voters, AZVs if you will, but without reviews, how the fuck can I tell what's wrong with it, if anything is? I don't know whether being so annoyed at Newgrounds all the time is offset by the fact I'm getting to broadcast some of my stuff, even if it is to a bunch of people who could serve as justification for a culling.

Our grey wheelie bin

As self appointed environment officer for the house I was dismayed to be assaulted by a wave of stench when I opened the bin the other day. Someone threw up in our bloody grey bin, our new bin that was all nice and clean before they threw up in it. It's been quite sunny recently, so the sick has been in the bin getting all warmed up every day, it'd been there for a couple of weeks already, but now it really smells. I had to lift out the bags of rubbish in the bin and tilt it up to let the now liquified sick run out into the drain. The smell was really powerful, there was a kind of humidity in the bin which made it worse. Most of the sick went down the drain but some of it stayed in and is now all stuck to the side of the bin, where it will get warmer and smell more.

I'm not cleaning the bin when we only have a month or so left in the house, but I'm still pissed that someone threw up in there in the first place, I mean why our bin? Because it was new? What the fuck is wrong with drunk people in Leeds? Pretty close to the bin was a drain, if they really were committed to trespass in their quest to liberate their takeaway from the confines of their alcohol ridden digestive system then they could have gone there, or maybe, now this is pretty radical stuff now, they could have thrown up on the street, down one of the street drains. I mean what the fuck? Is vomit trespass the new crazy trend or something?

The assholes who get on the 221 at the Whiterose Centre

In an annoying but inspirational episode I saw firsthand the total animosity and hatred which our Chav friends hold for the people of Goth. I got on the bus in a typically foul mood, one that is only brought on by the systematic head fucking going on in Leeds bus station, where Chav patrols terrorise old people and create headaches for the security and where the buses are never on time and where First seems to be hiding their immigrant workforce. I said I wanted to go to Morley, not Moor End... No, that's not the right fare... You can't just charge the same fare again, it's supposed to be £1.80, not 2x75p... That's not the right way, this is the 55 not the 65 you should go through Guiseley etc. etc.

Anyway, in my journey to Morley I decided I'd sit right at the back of the bus where there's more space for my guitar. These two goths got on and sat on the opposite side to me. Initially the journey went smoothly, I noticed that Goth Guy had huge rocks on. They were quite excessive, he'd have been on a collision course for cool had he not have his goth girlfriend comb his fringe, which looked fucking hilarious. Anyway I was endulging my taste for God Hates Us All throughout the trip. But these two chavs got on at the Whiterose Centre and seemed dismayed that they couldn't sick (edit: that was supposed to be 'sit', guess that shows how much the wheelie bin incident has been annoying me) at the back of the bus too. One of them had a really retarded pair of ear phone things, the ones that are like proper headphones with a headband but clip round your ear and are painful and tinny. Anyway, he kept looking over at the two goths, who seemed to be about as stereotypically gothic as you can get, Goth Girl was talking quite loudly about how she wants to buy a corset or something. I picked this up in the track changes on God Hates Us All, which is awesome by the way. As Mackay writes, "the Goths are a peaceful people" yet this seemed like outward provocation, I mean I wanted to throw something at them for talking about corsets, but you know, I have to keep impartial in these matters.

The shower

It smells like a fish tank for one. Plus, it's going to need cleaning before we leave the house and it's fucking filthy. Everything is covered in a brown, slimy layer.


WGATRAY.EXE

Yet again, Microsoft punish me for being connected to the internet by insisting on me downloading their stupid Genuine Advantage bullshit. Windows update is seriously pissing me off now. I want Microsoft to make their products work then fuck off from my PC. For some bullshit reason (Vista/Longhorn/Cockshaft) they've decided to stop support for Service Pack 1. So, rather than let me use Windows without having to put up with the bullshit non-use of Windows Firewall I now have to put up with a fucking annoying taskbar icon I haven't managed to disable yet, telling me that they're going to stop support for SP1 in October (that's not for quite a while, I get the message already, fuck off!) and that they want me to download service pack 2, which I've avoided thus far because when I first tried it, several games including Vice City stopped working.

This is when I want to convert to Linux but am afraid of the consequences of all my programmes not working on that. I get the message that you want me to download your stupid fucking service pack, Microsoft, but I don't want to! What do I have to do for you not to incessantly piss me off? Microsoft has a real knack for treating its users like retards who couldn't operate a tin opener let alone a PC. When you actually pay for XP, you're paying for the right to be the victim of Microsoft's continuous bukkake on its users. Every time you download a windows update you're swallowing Microsoft's cock, and it tastes like poorly designed monopolyware.

I wish I could say this was the last straw and that I'm going to move over to Linux or incinerate my computer or something, but there's a lot of straws left and Linux doesn't strike me as being as widely supported as Windows. If I'm wrong, please help me.


Before this update gets crushed under the weight of insane fucking I better make a counter list of things that have been okay.

Things which haven't been fucking me insane today


Extar, over, out.


TCP/IP, it's fucking me off. Other protocols doing little more. Definitely got worse. Now making me curse. Removing IPX. Will it ever work? Never!