24th February 2006

Questions and Answers

Seeing as I've never done a blog in this format before I thought it'd be entertaining to run this update as a Q&A session. Where I field questions to myself which I then answer.

Question 1: Where the hell have you been for a month?

What? You care? Well I'll tell you, I've been alternating between residence in Leeds and Heckmondwike, been going to uni whenever necessary, done some exams, you know, things like that.

Question 2: So you haven't been 'busy' on Metal Altar for a whole month, you fucking liar.

That wasn't a question, and I will stop this interview if you don't actually field any questions. I will admit that Metal Altar didn't take a month to record though.

Question 3: So what music have you been listening to?

Funny you should ask that, I've been listening to Megadeth a lot, to Pantera, Overkill, Black Label Society, Genesis, The Legend OST and Mazzy Star to a lesser extent. Well that's stuff I've bought recently anyway. Aside from that, just the regulars I suppose.


Question 4: So what have you been playing then?

I've been playing Guild Wars, Diablo 2, Dungeon Doom, Dungeon Hack, Advance Wars 2, Darwinia and Starcraft, all to varying extents.

Question 5: Any closer to getting to level 1 of the university?

I believe some ginger haired lad in the shitty Nationalism tutorial to be in possession of a pair of Magic Shoes of Nationalism +2, which I think would grant me the powers to get past the boss on level 7.


Question 6: The shitty Nationalism tutorial, what's that?

I foolishly took a politics elective in Nationalism in the Modern World. It's way too theoretical and lacking focus for my liking. The guy who teaches it, Mr. Schwarzmantel (or however it is spelt) is a bit shifty too. If someone turns up to his tutorial late, he'll make a little joke when they come in, but his tone of voice will change over the course of this joke so by the end it has become more of a threat. He's a little difficult to read, and I don't think he likes me because I'm a historian and pose a threat to his made up subject seeing as I can actually look into past to see if any of the stuff he talks about actually happened. Despite being about nationalism, we only get onto interesting stuff like fascism in week 8. It's currently week 5 and I'm tired of all this made up rubbish about 'integral nationalism' and 'civic nationalism'.

Question 7: How are things in the house?

The house has become divided between House Harkonen and House Ordos. Harkonen controls the top floor and the basement whilst the Ordos scum controls the first floor. Harkonen fears Ordos is planning on moving into the neutral floor of the kitchen and living room. The Sardaukar at Park Lane have yet to make their presence felt in the house. Also, the shower is no longer a festering pit of filth after I scrubbed all the mold off the walls. The drain is still blocked up, making the shower into a really manky swimming pool after someone has been in it, but it doesn't smell like a total shit-hole anymore. When cleaning the shower I was surprised at how satisfying it is scrubbing mold off tiles. I worry I might turn into some domestic goddess, though I still haven't cooked anything in the kitchen since before christmas.

Question 8: What's this talk I hear of you finding a prototype to David David?

One of people in the nationalism tutorial shows clear signs of being a possible prototype of the legend of the history department, David David. D.D. is hunter-killer-super-student-cyborg sent back from the future to kill Sarah Connor and to make up for all the other history under-graduates not doing any work. Single-handedly he held together Dr. Moxon's Archaic Age of Greece tutorials last semester, where it was clear no one but him had done any reading whatsoever. Such a noble deed was followed up by his constant presence in the library and exemplary performance in the exams. D.D. is most certainly a potent force to be reckoned with and I will no doubt have to face him if I am to reach Diablo on level 1.

However, the guy in the Nationalism tutorial is nowhere near as advanced as D.D. mkII as he is now known. DDm1 is constantly late, has long-winded and off-topic responses in class, compared to the efficient, almost assassin-like responses of DDm2. Despite these obvious short-comings he still manages to dominate the nationalism tutorials, vying for supremacy with the ginger guy with the luminous shoes of nationalism. I plan to take the ginger haired guy's shoes from him by striking in his moments of weakness after grappling with the essay-like responses of DDm1 on the subject of ethno-cultural factors in Herder's nationalist theory or some other bullshit. I am currently worried that DDm2 may be trying to hunt down his predecessor and make his obselete ass history, as opposed to erm... politics. I NEED those magic shoes.

Question 9: Erm, okay then. Well, to bring this to as non-weird a close as possible, what have you been watching on T.V. recently?

What? I was just ready to get really weird with my plans for making a card-board cut-out of myself, attaching a folder for handing in work and collecting hand-outs and an mp3 player to record lectures/tutorials then to get Hat Guy or Hat Guy's Friend to carry it round to my university lectures and tutorials so I don't have to go into uni anymore. Now I can't explain about all that! Or who Hat Guy or Hat Guy's Friend are?!?! You're so selfish! Well fine, I'll answer your stupid question, but don't think I'll be inviting you back or anything. I've been watching Deal Or No Deal and Dark Angel a lot recently. On DOND I enjoy shouting "NO DEAL!" in the style of Arnold Schwarzenegger whenever one of the contestants turns down the banker's deal. I discovered Dark Angel when I left the TV on during a lengthy Starcraft game with Mark and Stewart. Dark Angel is really cool because of three things.

1. It has Jessica Alba in it.

2. It has Jessica Alba running around and being sassy.

3. I actually watched an episode properly yesterday and the story isn't too shabby either.

It's very likely I'm going to buy the entire series 1 on DVD from Amazon because it is fairly cheap and because of the above three reasons.


Extar, over, out.

TCP/IP, it's fucking me off. Other protocols doing little more. Definitely got worse. Now making me curse. Removing IPX. Will it ever work? Never!